Tag: happiness

There is no joy involved in following other’s expectations of yourself.
– Miriam Toews

Expectations- On today’s date, this word itself has become quite scary. And from whom do we keep this particular emotion? From those people who are very close to our heart or from people we trust to have the ability to bring the change that we want. The irony is we never do anything for ourselves. We never even think of living up to someone else’s expectations and yet we expect a lot from others.

Humans are called social animals. Why? Because we rely on others a lot. We rely on others to survive on earth. And this dependency goes to an extent where we depend on others emotionally, physically, mentally and financially as well. Being the social animals on this planet, within humans also there are a lot of variants. And the co-dependency is increasing with time. But there is always a point where we all start to have a lot of expectations from other people. Expectations that are unachievable, unfulfillable and unimaginable. But still, we have these precious expectations from those people because they are important to us and we think and want to feel important in their life as well. The definition of love, care and importance are quite different for everyone. It’s like apples and oranges for a few of them. But what surprises me more is the way they represent it and showcase themselves as the biggest person on earth.

Is it just me or do you also feel that having too much expectations from your near and dear one’s is spoiling their happiness as well as yours? How much pressure can someone take from your wishes? Will that person not burst out one day? What if that person breakdowns and loses emotional strength? It does happen you know. There are so many people in this world, who are suffering from this particular fear right now for not living up to terms.

It’s not that we only expect from others. At times we set very high expectations from ourselves as well. And when we fail miserably to achieve those, self doubt and anxiety takes birth. In this whole charades people die.

I often think, how many people on this planet live their life freely without having the fear of losing anything or everything they have. If we start a count, will we at least get a fair amount of numbers?

Yes, we would because slowly that generation is evolving at a very high rate where people are learning to be fearless and go for that huge leap. It’s a constant reminder though that, “You are on your own.” But it makes sense that freedom is worth it.

Whether it is your expectations from yourself or you having expectations from someone else or someone having high expectations from you, it might suppress your confidence. Some people do thrive being in that pressure but most people fall from the cliff.

But being social animals with brains that make big inventions and evolutions, we hardly ever understand this small thing, that is to “Live freely and let live freely”. If you love and care about someone, wouldn’t you want them to be happy, lively and having the best of life?

Loving and caring for someone should be with selfless emotions. Instead we impose our wishes and fears on them. It’s time to accept people in our life as they are and support them to achieve their life goals.

Everyone seems to have a clear idea
of how other people should lead their lives,
but none about his or her own.
– Paulo Coelho

I hope this post projects a different light to subject which we all go through but never actually think about. Please like and follow my page to get future updates from my website and please write your suggestions below in the comment section to help me improve my posts. Also if you guys want me to write on a particular kind of topic then please leave your suggestion in the comment section.

Thank You!
Have a great day ahead.

Sayonara!

Pratha Nayak

Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.
– Albert Einstein

Hello everyone
In our society people often spend half of their time thinking what others are thinking about them. Even I do the same. But are you really being fair to yourself? We suppress our wishes and dreams just for the sake of people who actually doesn’t matter much. I mean is someone else going to live your life for you. We care too much about what society will think. We don’t give our own happiness much priority and go against what is actually right for us. I feel it is really the norm of our so called “society” which pressurize us to do what they feel is correct. They try to control our life and steal the happiness and our right to live a fulfilling life. I mean we really live once. Right!!!

We plan so many things for our future and make course of actions, and these people they suddenly jump into an opportunity to criticize us for it and say that it is a wrong thing to do. And eventually we end up doing what others want us do, which makes us miserable and unhappy. It takes real courage to stand up to this people and go through your plan. And once you succeed, the same people will be standing by your side saying that, “We are really happy for you and we are proud of your success.”.

Have it ever occurred to you that may be these people also did the same thing in their life by being pressurized by others? And they want you to do the same as well, because they don’t know any other way.

At times even your own family members will be standing against your wishes. The same family members who love you and want you to be happy, be safe and well-settled. But until and unless you are happy, can they be happy around you? I don’t think so. It is really like a process which people have created through rules and regulations which you have to follow and stay in the pothole where there is no escape.

But to really be happy in life and really achieve your goals, you have to break some rules. And for breaking those rules there will be some consequences which you actually have to go through for a certain span of time. Once you have crossed that barrier, the world will be your oyster. I know it is easy to say but difficult to implement. But have anyone achieved anything without a struggle? Or will you feel accomplished without going through the struggle?

NO!!

Today I want to share few ways with you all which might help you in surviving those situations and really go ahead with your choices. People will talk. Today it is you, tomorrow it will be someone else. But it is you who have to live your life.

Focus what is important for you.
If you focus really on what is important to you, then you can ignore all those chatter easily. Because you will be busy taking the actions towards achieving what you want in life.

Love and accept yourself.
People will point out your flaws all the time. Keep in mind that those are the flaws in their eyes because it is an inconvenience for them. They will say lot of bad things about you, behind your back because they can’t really handle you. So it is their problem. You need to love yourself the way you are. Own yourself.

It’s your life.
Well if you break your leg, will some else go through the pain while your leg is healing? No right? Then if something wrong happens in your life, will someone else struggle for you. It is your life! You have to live it. No one is going to live your life for you. It is you who have to take full responsibility of your life. If you make mistake, it is you who have to fix it. If you are successful, it is you who is going to enjoy it. Others can be there for you in your happiness and sadness, but they can’t really live it. So think about what you are going to do.

People don’t care that much.
We spend lot of our time, literally wasting our time being anxious over what everyone will say. “What they will think.” Well flashing news!! People don’t have that much time. Everyone is busy trying to survive their own life. No one has that much time to think about what you are doing. And if there are such people, then think like this that “they really don’t have anything better to do with their lives.”

Keep perspective.
Other people opinion is often based on their own life principles and experiences. What they think is good may not be good for you. What is working for them may not work for you. Every person has their own personality and thought process. You have to discover what is best for you and work it out.

Don’t go for perfection.
Perfection is actually over rated. At times flaws gives you the best experience. If you keep trying to be perfect for others, then you will surely fall way down on your own peace of mind.

You can’t please everyone.
If there are ten people around you, can you make everyone happy? Each person will have their own choices, is it your job to fulfill everyone’s demands? It is nearly impossible to please each and everyone. In one way or other, you will make some one sad. But that is okay. You don’t need to be a people pleaser.

You know what is best for you.
When you visualize your dreams, you know how much happy it will make you to achieve those in reality. And you know it will be the best thing that you can do for yourself. So don’t hesitate. Live your dreams and do what is best for you.

Honestly what other people think in their own time is none of your business.
Really I don’t need to say anything here. Will you be offended if someone blames you for thinking something in your head in your own time? Of-course you will be. You will immediately say that, “It’s none of your business”. Then why do we make it our business by what others are thinking in their head in their own space.

Life is too short.
We never know how much time we really have to live on this earth. And it is really not worth it to waste this short life by being anxious, worried and sad.

Spend life with the people who make you happy, not the people who you have to impress.

I hope you can find those points helpful in some way and ease yourself. Please like and follow my page to get the future updates from my website and please write your suggestions below in the comment section to help me improve my posts.

Thank You!
Have a great day ahead.

Sayonara!

Pratha Nayak

I know its been long that I have written but today I wanna write about something most of the people struggle now a days. “LONELINESS“

Most people stay away from their families and friends now a days because of their job or studies or some other reason. And after long tiring days they end up being alone the remaining hours of the day in some room cooped-up in four walls. Eventually they end up sad and depressed.

I agree its difficult to go through such times. We feel like talking to someone or go out with some one and relax. But somehow we don’t get to do it.
There was a time I went through such time and it was really difficult. I became very moody and cranky but with time I learned how to enjoy my solitude.

If you can’t enjoy your own company then how can you expect someone else to enjoy your company.

There are many ways to get out of this painful feeling.

Avoid flaking out on plans.
Has it ever happened that someone might have invited you for some outing or some other plans and you have ended-up giving some non-sense reason to get out of the situation?
Well this is something you shouldn’t do. Because eventually people will stop inviting you to accompany them thinking you are uninterested. Sometimes its better to enjoy the moment and go out and have fun.

Start writing a journal.
I started journal-ling a long time back and I can say that it really helped me in a very positive way. Writing down the way your day went and the way you feel about it helps having a different perspective towards life. It helps getting rid of the negative emotions as well.

Think about all the perks.
When you are around people, you usually do something everyone commonly enjoy and have a good time. But at times we have our own wishes and choices which others might not like to do. So when you are alone you can do whatever you want. Like watch your favorite movie or favorite series or read a book or play video games. You can even cook your favorite dish and eat it while watching a movie. And you don’t have to think whether others will like it or not.

Use your time productively.
Is there any work pending which you have been postponing since a very long time. Or any course you wanted to, but never got the time to do it. Do it now!! This is the best way to use your time alone properly and it will distract your mind from the lonely feeling too. It will also boost your emotions about yourself in to happy direction.

Try knowing yourself better.
Having lot of time in your hands, you can always try to discover your talents or your likes and dislikes. Does doing some particular activity makes you anxious or nervous but you always wanted to do it. Like playing any particular sport or dancing or singing. Try taking a leap and go for it dear!! Its better to explore it and get to know whether you are good at it or not rather than always having a regret of never trying it throughout your life.

Try to stay away from social media.
When you feeling sad and lonely, its better to stay away from social media. Now a days in social media people often post their happy moments, where they are enjoying their life. Which is not a bad thing of course but it might make you feel even more lonely and depressed.

Identifying your loneliness triggers.
Try to find the timings and situations that makes you feel lonely. Its not necessary to feel lonely when you are alone. At times people feel lonely even when they are surrounded by people and friends. May be because they don’t feel included or they don’t like the company that much. Whatever is the reason try to find it. If coming to an empty home after long tiring day of office makes you feel lonely or eating alone makes you lonely, try identifying that reason and try to find a solution it. Like try finding a colleague with whom you can have dinner once in a while after office hour. Or if a friend is staying near by, check if they want to do something for an hour or two.

Try to live in the moment.
Its better to start enjoying the moment rather than thinking what you will do once you reach home. If you keep dreading the upcoming lonely time rather than enjoying the present time, then whats the point right?

Learn to differentiate between loneliness and isolation.
Feeling lonely at times being alone and your acquaintance being busy with their life is something different. Whereas if you are trying to isolate yourself from others, then may be its time to ask yourself, “Why are you doing this to yourself?”. There may be many reasons to it. May be you don’t like being in your current social circle or may be you are going through a rough time in your life. If you don’t like your current social circle, then try to make new friends. And if you are having a rough time because of work life or personal life then please talk to someone who you feel you can confide in, like a family member or a very old close friend.

Try exploring your interests.
It is always good to explore what keeps you interested. Try finding a new hobby. Anything that fascinates you and makes you curious to learn more about it.
May be take a painting class or dancing or sculpture making class. Keep trying till you find something which you can do regularly to pass your time. On plus side, you get to learn something new again.

Adopt a pet.
People who are animal friendly often adopt a pet. A pet always give you company and also gives you emotional support. You can play with them when you are around. It is also said that people who have pets tend to stay happy most of the time.

Start a exercise routine.
Having a regular workout routine not only keeps you healthy and fit, but it also keeps your mood elevated. You might not feel like doing it initially when you are already sad and feeling lonely but after a few days you will definitely notice a change in your mood. You will feel more active and alive.

Try going on a trip.
Have you been planing on going on a solo trip since a long time but never got the time or guts!!!
Take that trip now. Find an affordable place you want to go, pack your bags and just go.
Even if you don’t like going alone, now a days lots of trip organizers are available online. They arrange trips for group of people who want to go on trips but with security and affordable plans. Its a great way to make new friends as you will be meeting lots of new people there.

Last but not the least, try enjoying your own company. It will really help you grow within yourself. I hope all the above points might be of some help to people out there who are feeling lonely right now.

If you like my post then please like it and please do follow my page to get the future updates of my posts. Also post your comments and suggestions below to help me improve my posts.

Thank You!
Have a great day ahead.

Sayonara!

Pratha Nayak