I know its been long that I have written but today I wanna write about something most of the people struggle now a days. "LONELINESS"
Most people stay away from their families and friends now a days because of their job or studies or some other reason. And after long tiring days they end up being alone the remaining hours of the day in some room cooped-up in four walls. Eventually they end up sad and depressed.
I agree its difficult to go through such times. We feel like talking to someone or go out with some one and relax. But somehow we don't get to do it.
There was a time I went through such time and it was really difficult. I became very moody and cranky but with time I learned how to enjoy my solitude.
If you can't enjoy your own company then how can you expect someone else to enjoy your company.
There are many ways to get out of this painful feeling.
Avoid flaking out on plans.
Has it ever happened that someone might have invited you for some outing or some other plans and you have ended-up giving some non-sense reason to get out of the situation?
Well this is something you shouldn't do. Because eventually people will stop inviting you to accompany them thinking you are uninterested. Sometimes its better to enjoy the moment and go out and have fun.
Start writing a journal.
I started journal-ling a long time back and I can say that it really helped me in a very positive way. Writing down the way your day went and the way you feel about it helps having a different perspective towards life. It helps getting rid of the negative emotions as well.
Think about all the perks.
When you are around people, you usually do something everyone commonly enjoy and have a good time. But at times we have our own wishes and choices which others might not like to do. So when you are alone you can do whatever you want. Like watch your favorite movie or favorite series or read a book or play video games. You can even cook your favorite dish and eat it while watching a movie. And you don't have to think whether others will like it or not.
Use your time productively.
Is there any work pending which you have been postponing since a very long time. Or any course you wanted to, but never got the time to do it. Do it now!! This is the best way to use your time alone properly and it will distract your mind from the lonely feeling too. It will also boost your emotions about yourself in to happy direction.
Try knowing yourself better.
Having lot of time in your hands, you can always try to discover your talents or your likes and dislikes. Does doing some particular activity makes you anxious or nervous but you always wanted to do it. Like playing any particular sport or dancing or singing. Try taking a leap and go for it dear!! Its better to explore it and get to know whether you are good at it or not rather than always having a regret of never trying it throughout your life.
Try to stay away from social media.
When you feeling sad and lonely, its better to stay away from social media. Now a days in social media people often post their happy moments, where they are enjoying their life. Which is not a bad thing of course but it might make you feel even more lonely and depressed.
Identifying your loneliness triggers.
Try to find the timings and situations that makes you feel lonely. Its not necessary to feel lonely when you are alone. At times people feel lonely even when they are surrounded by people and friends. May be because they don't feel included or they don't like the company that much. Whatever is the reason try to find it. If coming to an empty home after long tiring day of office makes you feel lonely or eating alone makes you lonely, try identifying that reason and try to find a solution it. Like try finding a colleague with whom you can have dinner once in a while after office hour. Or if a friend is staying near by, check if they want to do something for an hour or two.
Try to live in the moment.
Its better to start enjoying the moment rather than thinking what you will do once you reach home. If you keep dreading the upcoming lonely time rather than enjoying the present time, then whats the point right?
Learn to differentiate between loneliness and isolation.
Feeling lonely at times being alone and your acquaintance being busy with their life is something different. Whereas if you are trying to isolate yourself from others, then may be its time to ask yourself, "Why are you doing this to yourself?". There may be many reasons to it. May be you don't like being in your current social circle or may be you are going through a rough time in your life. If you don't like your current social circle, then try to make new friends. And if you are having a rough time because of work life or personal life then please talk to someone who you feel you can confide in, like a family member or a very old close friend.
Try exploring your interests.
It is always good to explore what keeps you interested. Try finding a new hobby. Anything that fascinates you and makes you curious to learn more about it.
May be take a painting class or dancing or sculpture making class. Keep trying till you find something which you can do regularly to pass your time. On plus side, you get to learn something new again.
Adopt a pet.
People who are animal friendly often adopt a pet. A pet always give you company and also gives you emotional support. You can play with them when you are around. It is also said that people who have pets tend to stay happy most of the time.
Start a exercise routine.
Having a regular workout routine not only keeps you healthy and fit, but it also keeps your mood elevated. You might not feel like doing it initially when you are already sad and feeling lonely but after a few days you will definitely notice a change in your mood. You will feel more active and alive.
Try going on a trip.
Have you been planing on going on a solo trip since a long time but never got the time or guts!!!
Take that trip now. Find an affordable place you want to go, pack your bags and just go.
Even if you don't like going alone, now a days lots of trip organizers are available online. They arrange trips for group of people who want to go on trips but with security and affordable plans. Its a great way to make new friends as you will be meeting lots of new people there.
Last but not the least, try enjoying your own company. It will really help you grow within yourself. I hope all the above points might be of some help to people out there who are feeling lonely right now.
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Have a great day ahead.
7 thoughts on “How to be alone and not feel lonely”
Very insightful .
I really think this time alone at home has made many people feel alone, we have all been stuck on devices in our homes trying to gain social fulfillment that way but as you said being on social media can often cause more harm! This was a good read!
I know with this time going on we all feel stuck. Hope you liked reading it. Thank you.
thank u so much
yeah… at times its better to explore a new way of life.