lifestyle, Self Improvement

Ways to keep toxic people at bay!

Pay no attention to toxic words. What people say is often a reflection of themselves, not you.
– Christian Baloga

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How many times have you felt suffocated by your surroundings? Does it makes you feel like bursting into flames? Or do you feel like drowning yourself? Well may be you need to understand that you might be living in a toxic environment. Often we are in company of bunch of self-absorbed people who always belittle you for every move you make.

As human beings, we tend to live in a group of people as so called “society”, we often cross path with some particular kind of people who are very difficult to tolerate. And doesn’t matter how much we try, we cannot avoid them. Honestly it’s not worth the energy to even try. So we make up our mind to just adjust with the situation. We socialize with this people day in and day out without a choice. And when we do that somehow they get the power to mess with our brain and feelings. And we let them.

But can you really save yourself from this torment? Of course you can! We have a tendency to please people around us and that’s what gets us in this problem in first place.
“Will I look bad if I try to fight?”
“Will it be rude to stand up for myself at this situation?”
“People will talk about me if I say this out loud?”
“Will I lose my job if I object?”
“What if I end up alone if I avoid these people?”
Sounds familiar right!

I go through this situations as well. And when we keep our feelings and anger bottled up for long time, we become depressed and frustrated. At times we end up hurting people who are actually good and important to us. People who actually care for us. How is that any good? But may be we can change that. May be if we know how to deal with toxic people, we can stay happy and live with a healthy mind set. I am going to list down some ways to keep these kind of people at bay.

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Recognize the toxic nature- First we need to recognize who are these people and what kind of nature they have. Do they make you uncomfortable with there statements? They are negative about anything and everything you do. They will always discourage you for any action you take for your own betterment. When you share your creative ideas, they might make fun of you and joke around in front of others. Don’t worry, it’s not about you. It is about them never coming up with anything good by themselves. And you cannot change them by any means. You can’t save them from their own hell.

Set limits and boundaries- Set boundaries about socializing with them. I understand it is not always possible to avoid these people all the time but try reducing it to minimum. Meet them or talk to them when it is really necessary.

Be on the positive side- You need to believe in yourself first. Be so confident about yourself that no one can break you with snarky comments. If you have goals to achieve, then stop listening to people who underestimate your ideas. Don’t show them your weakness, or they will some how find a way to creep inside your head again. Self preservation should be your main motto. Remember it is their own self incompetence that makes them behave that way.

Break it off- If it is intolerable just break it off. It is definitely not worth it to keep these people in your life, if all they do is break you from inside. You may lose some more friends along with them but at least you will learn to live with your dignity intact.

Learn to stand up for yourself- At times you have to fight for yourself. Because when you stay quite, you give them the power to control you and your brain. You start behaving the way they want. If you are in a situation where you feel insulted and humiliated, just say the things that you believe and walk away.

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Try making healthy relationships- Try making new friends or try hanging out with people who really appreciate your presence. What’s the point of hanging out with people who talk about you in a bad way when you are not around. People who are true to you and actually like you, won’t talk bad about you or make fun of you behind your back. So hang out with people who actually care about you and help you grow in life. Who can have your back when you try to conquer the world.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambition.
-Mark Twain

I hope you found this helpful. Please remember you can get out of such situation gracefully without hurting yourself. Please like and follow my page to get the future updates from my website and please write your suggestions below in the comment section to help me improve my posts.

Thank You!
Have a great day ahead.

Sayonara!

Pratha Nayak

Self Improvement

How to be alone and not feel lonely

I know its been long that I have written but today I wanna write about something most of the people struggle now a days.LONELINESS

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Most people stay away from their families and friends now a days because of their job or studies or some other reason. And after long tiring days they end up being alone the remaining hours of the day in some room cooped-up in four walls. Eventually they end up sad and depressed.

I agree its difficult to go through such times. We feel like talking to someone or go out with some one and relax. But somehow we don’t get to do it.
There was a time I went through such time and it was really difficult. I became very moody and cranky but with time I learned how to enjoy my solitude.

If you can’t enjoy your own company then how can you expect someone else to enjoy your company.

There are many ways to get out of this painful feeling.

Avoid flaking out on plans.
Has it ever happened that someone might have invited you for some outing or some other plans and you have ended-up giving some non-sense reason to get out of the situation?
Well this is something you shouldn’t do. Because eventually people will stop inviting you to accompany them thinking you are uninterested. Sometimes its better to enjoy the moment and go out and have fun.

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Start writing a journal.
I started journal-ling a long time back and I can say that it really helped me in a very positive way. Writing down the way your day went and the way you feel about it helps having a different perspective towards life. It helps getting rid of the negative emotions as well.

Think about all the perks.
When you are around people, you usually do something everyone commonly enjoy and have a good time. But at times we have our own wishes and choices which others might not like to do. So when you are alone you can do whatever you want. Like watch your favorite movie or favorite series or read a book or play video games. You can even cook your favorite dish and eat it while watching a movie. And you don’t have to think whether others will like it or not.

Use your time productively.
Is there any work pending which you have been postponing since a very long time. Or any course you wanted to, but never got the time to do it. Do it now!! This is the best way to use your time alone properly and it will distract your mind from the lonely feeling too. It will also boost your emotions about yourself in to happy direction.

Try knowing yourself better.
Having lot of time in your hands, you can always try to discover your talents or your likes and dislikes. Does doing some particular activity makes you anxious or nervous but you always wanted to do it. Like playing any particular sport or dancing or singing. Try taking a leap and go for it dear!! Its better to explore it and get to know whether you are good at it or not rather than always having a regret of never trying it throughout your life.

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Try to stay away from social media.
When you feeling sad and lonely, its better to stay away from social media. Now a days in social media people often post their happy moments, where they are enjoying their life. Which is not a bad thing of course but it might make you feel even more lonely and depressed
.

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Identifying your loneliness triggers.
Try to find the timings and situations that makes you feel lonely. Its not necessary to feel lonely when you are alone. At times people feel lonely even when they are surrounded by people and friends. May be because they don’t feel included or they don’t like the company that much. Whatever is the reason try to find it. If coming to an empty home after long tiring day of office makes you feel lonely or eating alone makes you lonely, try identifying that reason and try to find a solution it. Like try finding a colleague with whom you can have dinner once in a while after office hour. Or if a friend is staying near by, check if they want to do something for an hour or two.

Try to live in the moment.
Its better to start enjoying the moment rather than thinking what you will do once you reach home. If you keep dreading the upcoming lonely time rather than enjoying the present time, then whats the point right?

Learn to differentiate between loneliness and isolation.
Feeling lonely at times being alone and your acquaintance being busy with their life is something different. Whereas if you are trying to isolate yourself from others, then may be its time to ask yourself, “Why are you doing this to yourself?”. There may be many reasons to it. May be you don’t like being in your current social circle or may be you are going through a rough time in your life. If you don’t like your current social circle, then try to make new friends. And if you are having a rough time because of work life or personal life then please talk to someone who you feel you can confide in, like a family member or a very old close friend.

Try exploring your interests.
It is always good to explore what keeps you interested. Try finding a new hobby. Anything that fascinates you and makes you curious to learn more about it.
May be take a painting class or dancing or sculpture making class. Keep trying till you find something which you can do regularly to pass your time. On plus side, you get to learn something new again.

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Adopt a pet.
People who are animal friendly often adopt a pet. A pet always give you company and also gives you emotional support. You can play with them when you are around. It is also said that people who have pets tend to stay happy most of the time.

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Start a exercise routine.
Having a regular workout routine not only keeps you healthy and fit, but it also keeps your mood elevated. You might not feel like doing it initially when you are already sad and feeling lonely but after a few days you will definitely notice a change in your mood. You will feel more active and alive.

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Try going on a trip.
Have you been planing on going on a solo trip since a long time but never got the time or guts!!!
Take that trip now. Find an affordable place you want to go, pack your bags and just go.
Even if you don’t like going alone, now a days lots of trip organizers are available online. They arrange trips for group of people who want to go on trips but with security and affordable plans. Its a great way to make new friends as you will be meeting lots of new people there.

Last but not the least, try enjoying your own company. It will really help you grow within yourself. I hope all the above points might be of some help to people out there who are feeling lonely right now.

If you like my post then please like it and please do follow my page to get the future updates of my posts. Also post your comments and suggestions below to help me improve my posts.

Thank You!
Have a great day ahead.

Sayonara!

Pratha Nayak